“Try again,” Said the Universe.
I stand at the same crossroads as 2015.
HPV virus in my body, Pre-cancerous cells in my cervix.
NOT LAUGHING much at all. The pic was for attention – You’re welcome. Plus, it’s a visual representation of why I want to talk about it. It’s invisible, silent, and something women are expected to put on a brave/happy face about.
I am one of them.
When the news came through it hit me hard, but there was part of me that already knew.
Probably because I have ONLY had bad experiences with the HPV journey – mine started with the Vaccination, maybe we don’t need to go into the sexual assault or my peers’ bad sexual choices, leading me to a Pap Smear earlier than was suggested but… they have all been horrible. (I’ve always been a little overzealous with my sexual health even through my ‘promiscuous stage’ I can positively say… never a blemish on my small record of encounters)
Until 2013 that was, then again, 2015, and 2017… see what I mean about the universe playing a sick joke?
This gyno had legitimately said “I’m sure it’s nothing to worry about” and ‘you probably don’t need the colposcopy’- a perfect example of why the health system is fucked, and why HPV is THE MOST COMMON STI IN THE WORLD and it still receives a shoulder shrug until you’re sitting where I am and, when you are, you’re told; DON’T PANIC! And instead get an expensive, traumatic, invasive, procedure to cut/burn away those cells (with a white-hot loop) or a cone biopsy, or eventually a partial to full hysterectomy (which I asked for each time this has been a problem).
After my initial crash and burn reaction, [screaming WHYYY??!! crying, anger, blame, dread, life-finality thoughts, anxiety attacks thanks to PTSD from my childhood and 2015] I decided to take the holistic path to give my body the best chance to fight the virus.
You see; the mutated cells aren’t really the biggest issue here, it’s the virus for which there is no medication & no cure for in the orthodox medical world. It’s up to the body – and some strains are fought off and cured without intervention.
“So let’s just go in and butcher one of the most sacred parts of a female body without any assistance, care, or consideration for an alternative anyway”
– Modern Medicine.
Welcome to the “woo-woo” world instead or as I call it – “original medicine”. The kind of knowledge and support Mother Earth gave generations before us, before laboratories, and chemically engineered things.
Do NOT mistake this for any type of directive for your health, or your choices… instead, see it as Supplementary, preventative, or an OPTION and your right to question what you are ‘told’.
I am the owner of my life. I am obviously in discussions with all forms of medical practitioners, and I have chosen an alternative because again- it’s my body, my life, and I know there is more to this than last time.
So, over the next 3 months, (or more) I will be documenting the changes (and things I am keeping the same or returning to), the specialists, the practitioners, the tinctures, herbal remedy suggestions, diet inclusions/exclusions, mind practices and physical movement FOR MY HEALING ONLY. I will also aim to record my emotional state. I know you all love what I am really thinking right?
Like; Why are we so shy about a virus which a third of its name is that of our species: Human Papillomavirus?
I appreciate your support and hope you can keep me inspired throughout it.
I might need a little assistance to keep my head up at times. Because I won’t always be that smiling, laughing goofball.
Do you know of someone going through the same thing? Have you been avoiding a tiny little scrape on your cervix by a doctor which is nothing in comparison to what you may have to go through if you don't? Are you a male, who has never heard of this STI, but very likely has been infected without symptoms or a test available? A family member who is worried about their children/students and educating them? Know of anyone who has walked the holistic path and succeeded? Or of a practitioner, researcher, or professional in the alternative, holistic field for HPV and Cervical Dysplasia? Please send me an email, private message on social media, or leave a comment below as I would love to speak with them, interview them, or even use their services on this journey.